I am turning 34 years old this year, and just last week, I took the entrance exam and interview for Public Health master programme. 2months prior to the exam, I pushed myself to study hard. But well, it was hard. It was hard for me to concentrate with husband was not around most of the time, what with the 2 heroes running and seeking for my attention, and when I had finally had my own time, I will be occupied with the phone! The phone is the strongest enemy. Of course, if I want to make an excuse, the study was slightly difficult and many new things to learn and to memorize. Once I did not understand something, my mind went blank and my hand will move to the phone. The rest is history. Every time I realized 'oh, what am I doing?', I went back to my study but the time still wasted.
To prevent myself from doing the same mistakes over and over again, I write! I read, I understand, and I write. I realize when I write, I can memorize better, my mind can focus better, no time is wasted. The time is so precious because, at any time, the kids could come and jump on you, or they simply ask to make milk for them, or they poo. But thanks to them, my life is alive, whatever I am doing now is because of them. I want to further study so I could become a specialist, in a hope that I can provide a better life for them. Thank God people in Public Health currently encourage the doctors who want to be part of them, to prioritize family too. Family first, they said.
This reminds me why I want to further my study. Can't remember where I read/heard this saying that all Muslims are encouraged to study until the highest level you can go. For me, since I've been working in Klinik Kesihatan for a long long time, if FMS is a no-no, Public Health is the only another option. The good thing about Public Health is that everyone must learn from the beginning. I am not too far behind the others. We are also obliged to be in the Mentor-mentee programme for at least 6months for learning more deeply on Public Health. New health issues come out every day so you learn from there too.
How were my exam and interview? Not bad I guess, I did my best but obviously still lacking here and there. My nerves during the interview were also quite a disaster. But I guess it's all up to my rezeki now. Tawakkal to Allah and redha with whatever result I get. Allah is always the best planner. So you pray, pray that He always guide you to stay on the right path in life, pray that whatever comes along in your life has a good reason, pray that whichever road you choose to go, it is the best road that leads you to His blessing. InsyaAllah...
